Such Bull sh*t!

I hate when people use platitudes!  It drives me up a wall.  No one will ever accuse me of being a "Suzy sunshine".  I'm not a " Debbie downer" either but I am a realist.

You must face life as it is and not pretend that the world is full of sunshine and rainbow.  People are not always nice, sickness is not always healed and life stinks sometimes no matter how good a person you have been.  I am grateful that sometimes people are nice and doctors have answers and life is good on occasion.  I worry about those though who believe it is always that way.

I have found since I lost my Mom, I've had a disease that doctors have no clue about and I have watch my family face more storms than sunny skies that life is NEVER fair.  It is sometimes dark and filled with tears and fears.  It is more often that the skies are filled with rain than rainbows.  I grit my teeth and bite my tongue when people tell me that I should look on the bright side well that must be my blind side because I can't find it most days.

Sorry for the rant but well as I say life is mostly fill with bull shit!

Why is life so unfair? Oh yeah no one said it would be!

I'm feeling totally out of sorts.  I feel anxious and angry.  I feel like life is unfair and that I am handling way more than one person should.  Do I have the right to feel this way? No, probably not there is always someone who has it worse. 

The thing is I know this in my mind but it hasn't reached my heart.  I look around and see people who have things I do not and they don't seem to even care that they have it.  I look at people who have smoked, drank and even shot up on drugs, they have slept with anyone who was willing but have their bodies turned on them?  Have they lost the ability to walk or see?  NO!  Would I wish for them to live with what I do?  NO!  I just wonder why.

 I want to grab these people and shake some sense into them.  I want them to see the gifts they have been given.  To be honest I was not grateful for my good health either before I lost it.  I also did nothing to cause it to turn on me.  It is a scary thing to be told there is no cure for what you have and yes one day it will kill you.

 I know this post makes no sense but since no one reads this but me I've just decided to vent.